relationships « Tantra Yoga

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Keep calm and avoid injury

Good advice: Don’t take up a challenging physical task if you’re angry.

Recent research suggests that being angry may increase a person’s risk of injury nearly seven-fold.

About 63 percent of people surveyed during an emergency room visit showed they were feeling irritable, angry, or hostile at the time they were hurt.

Before taking on a tough physical task, count to 10, breathe deeply, and approach your project with a sense of calm if you wish to reduce your chances of getting injured.

This latest piece of research adds to the growing body of research indicating that chronic anger is not good for your health.

Although everyone has temporary states of anger, called “state anger,” people who have a regular hostile or angry attitude, called “trait anger,” may have an increased risk of arterial aging, high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, and a depressed immune system.

This recent new research indicatess that state anger increases the risk of injury, especially in men.

The study looked at people who visited an emergency room for treatment of an injury and looked at their feelings just before the injury. Most were angry at the time they were injured.

Some of the best ways to manage your hostile feelings are :deep breathing,yoga or tai chi,regular exercise, keeping a journal,and releasing your frustrations by talking to friend.

It has been suggested that taking care of your emotional health and well-being may make you up to 16 years younger.

Posted by Milton Drepaul at 16:54:42 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Friday, October 21, 2005

10 ways to tell if he’s the one

Nikitta A. Foston

IT can happen in the blink of an eye. Attraction. Excitement. Romance. But for too many Sisters who are searching for Mr. Right (not Mr. Right Now), the game of love is a crooked road of broken promises where the coveted jackpot, referred to as “the one,” is too late, long-gone or maybe destined to never show at all.

But there is hope.

“Although there is risk in love, there are also great rewards when passion and purpose fall within the right embrace,” says Dr. Grace Cornish, author of 7 Spiritual Truths to Recognize and Marry Your Very Own Soul Mate. So before you jump on the twisted path of romance, familiarize yourself with the signs you’ll encounter along the way, and recognize which will lead your hopes and heart to the man of your dreams. The following tips should help you gauge the possibilities and help you determine if he’s “the one”:

* He Listens to You. Before your man opens his heart to you, he has to first open his ears. “Genuine concern manifests itself in listening to the cares, concerns and issues of your woman,” says Anthony Woodson, president and CEO of BlackLoveForever.com, a matchmaking service that has resulted in nearly 500 marriages. “A man who wants to be around you for the long-term will be a good listener when you need him. He will be a dependable source of guidance and support and will not turn a deaf ear simply because the problem is too big. If he doesn’t know the solution, he will try his best to find one.”

* There is a Natural Ease and Flow. Relationship experts say there is a natural chemistry that defines your interaction when you meet your perfect fit. “You don’t have to push it, force it, tug it, pull it or cut the edges to make it fit,” says Debrena Jackson Gandy, international speaker and author of All the Joy You Can Stand. “There is an undeniable ease and flow to the relationship. You can see it and others around you can as well.”

* You Don’t Have to Compromise Who You Are. A person who you have to change for isn’t the person for you. “You should maintain and enjoy a continued, if not healthier, sense of self when you are with your partner,” says Tandra McMurray, a 30-something Chicago single who has had her share of “Mr. Wrongs.” “He should make you feel good about being you, while always encouraging you to be better. If a man doesn’t feel good about himself, it will be hard for him to make you feel good about being you.”

* You Trust Him. When you trust your partner, you open your relationship up to a world of possibilities. Without trust, the relationship can’t grow and is likely to be doomed. “To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his partner,” says Jel D. Lewis, relationship expert and columnist. “The secret to growing in trust is not to expect your man to be perfect.” Maintaining realistic expectations is key to understanding your role and his.

* He Enriches Your Life. Being in love should have productive benefits for enhancing your quality of life. “Your Mr. Right should stretch your imagination and stimulate your desires,” says Dr. Grace Cornish, spiritual psychologist and author of You Deserve Healthy Love Sis’. “He should, at all times and through all things, look out for your best interests. He should never compete with you because he knows what is good for you is good for him. A good man encourages and supports you professionally, personally and spiritually.”

* He’d Be Your Friend Even If He Wasn’t Your Man. Too often, we assume that our partners are our friends, but friendships must be built slowly, over time and with nurturing. “I don’t believe in friends first, but friends always,” says Gandy, creator of the motivational tape Make Space So Joy Has A Place. “If this person is truly a good fit for you, then his qualities should be desirable even if you are not in a relationship. You would still have this person in your life if you were not in a relationship. That’s true friendship.”

* He Pampers You. Not to be confused with spoiling, pampering is a celebration of womanhood, rather than pure indulgence of self. “Through his words and his actions, he shows you that you are different from any other woman in his life,” says Woodson, whose matchmaking service, Black Love Forever, has more than 1,500 members. “He demonstrates, on a daily basis, that you are his queen. He caters to you. He cares for you. Whether he shampoos your hair, prepares your meal or massages your feet, he is demonstrating his affection and the privilege that it is to be in your life.”

* Both of You Share Common Ground. Despite your religious background or affiliation, having a common and unified direction spiritually, socially, financially and economically creates cohesiveness. If you cannot agree on fundamental values, it is unlikely that you will go very far (and if so, not for long). It’s not enough to simply be together. You must be willing and able to grow together.

* You Become a Part of His World. When you meet a man’s parents, his children, his co-workers and his closest friends, you are getting a true glimpse of who he is, not just who he is when he is around you. A man who is serious about making you his partner will not only want you to be a part of his world, he’ll create avenues of openness so that you can enjoy his world, his people and his interests.

* He Sacrifices For You. The right man will consider sacrificing for you an honor, not a burden. “When he is willing to give you what belongs to him, even before you ask for it, you know that he is serious about you,” says Woodson. “It’s not considered a ’sacrifice’ when it’s done with a good heart; it’s an investment in the future of two people. Whether it’s time, money or energy, a man will give what he has to the woman he wants.”

Although these tips serve as a good guideline for women who want to know if he’s “the one,” Dr. Grace Cornish counsels single women to not get caught up looking for love in a certain package. “If you think he’s the one, don’t write him off just because he’s not wearing a certain suit or driving a certain car,” she says. “Get to know who he is and what his values are. After moving beyond the physical, you can enter the emotional and spiritual, where you’ll find love and opportunity waiting and smiling back at you.”

COPYRIGHT 2005 Johnson Publishing Co.

COPYRIGHT 2005 Gale Group

Posted by Milton Drepaul at 22:27:09 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Monday, September 26, 2005

The Female Arousal gap

When making love to themselves, women and men take about the same time to reach peak sexual arousalusually four to five minutes. With a partner, however,women tend to reach peak sexual arousal within a longer span of time.

Masters and Johnson, in Human Sexual Response, created the term “psychosocial distractions” to account for this time delay in women.

They claimed that the presence of a partner creates more opportunities for a woman to interact with both her own mind and her partner. She also may spend some of her time worrying how happy her partner is, rather than paying attention to her own arousal. Processing these thoughts simply lengthens the time women take to reach peak sexual arousal.

This disparity in arousal time accounts for much the dissatisfaction that ofen appears in in male/female sexual relationships. Unaware of the differnces in response to the sexual situation with a partner men usually begin intercourse before a woman is ready. As a result, he usually reaches a climax before the woman, and so often leaves her unfulfilled, and often frustrated.

Posted by Milton Drepaul at 17:27:38 | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Four Phases of the Female Response Cycle

Noted sex researchers, Masters and Johnson, in their landmark book entitled, Human Sexual Response (1966), defined the human female sexual response cycle has having four phases:

Excitement Phase: This phase includes vaginal lubrication, a rise in sexual tension, color changes and expansion of the vaginal barrel.
Plateau Phase: This phase includes a marked vasocongestive swelling in the outer one-third of the vagina, accompanied with a feeling of “fullness” or an “aching feeling,” vaginal lubrication reaching its full potential, and sexual tension reaching a maximum level before the onset of orgasm.
Orgasmic Phase: This phase includes the onset of orgasmic contractions at 0.8 second intervals.
Resolution Phase: This phase includes the return of the vagina to its normal state and coloration.

Posted by Milton Drepaul at 17:01:15 | Permalink | Comments (2)

How can I create a loving relationship?

You may still have some fear that is standing between you and the life you desire, and that youre still holding back from allowing a relationship to be in your life the way that you wish. You may have to reach back into your childhood relationship with your father or mother to resolve deep-seated fears surrounding a relationship.

Ask yourself: What do I have to give up to be in a relationship? How do I lose me when Im in a relationship? What messages did I receive as a child that created a belief in me that relationships are painful or not forthcoming?

I suggest that you work on loving yourself non-stop. Treat yourself to romance and love. Demonstrate to yourself how special you are. Pamper yourself. Buy yourself flowers, surround yourself with colors, textures, and scents that please you.

Life always mirrors back to us the feelings we have inside. As you grow in an inner sense of love and romance, the right person to share your growing sense of intimacy will be attracted to you like a magnet.